Today’s author is Naomi Sveholm. Naomi is a missionary with Central Europe Teachers teaching English at a bilingual Lutheran high school in Bratislava, Slovakia with her spouse and two children.
Taiye Selasi gave a TED talk in 2014 called “Don’t ask me where I’m from, ask where I’m a local.” It is a discussion of what forms your identity and she names one way to voice this, by discussing the 3 Rs: rituals, relationships, restrictions.
Rituals are the things you do every day or week: sitting with breakfast and coffee, washing your face before you brush your teeth, devotions or church, even taking off your shoes at the door or putting your keys in the same place. They are habits that make even a strange place feel more like home.
Relationships are not your Facebook friends, but the sibling you call every Sunday, the partner you have dinner with, the colleagues you share your emotional experiences with, the people who make you feel safe.
Restrictions include anything that doesn’t fall neatly into the “default person” experience or that impacts your life negatively, including gender, age, physical condition, financial situation, sexual orientation, race, political unrest. What prevents you from feeling at home and safe where you live?
One contrast Selasi makes is the difference between “Where are you from?” and “Where are you REALLY from?”. I imagine people of color, such as Selasi, and people with accents hear this question, or the undermining intent behind it more often than I do. This is where certain restrictions come to light.
I don’t think she’s actually arguing that we should stop asking the basic question, “where are you from?” As I’ve thought about it, I see the question as a way to start the conversation. What’s your name? Where are you from? How did you find your way here? What’s your story? And where the intentionality behind “where are you really from” is a challenge, “where are you from” – with openness and curiosity – is a welcome into a larger conversation, an invitation to explore your changing identity as an individual and part of a relationship or community.
May our welcome be free of preconceived notions.
Dear God,
We all experience rituals, relationships, and restrictions and come together to form our unique identities. Help us to open our community in respectful welcome, even to those who experience life very differently.
In Jesus’ name we pray,
Amen