Today’s author is Prince of Peace’s Intentional Interim, Pastor Steve Sylvester.

Small words can have big meanings.  “God’s but,” for example.  Jesus had been executed and laid in the tomb.  All was lost.  “BUT on the first day of the week, at early dawn…” (Luke 24:1) “God’s but,” the biggest but there ever was.

In John 18:12-27, there is also, a small word that looms large.  That’s not a punctuation mistake, because I don’t mean there is also a small word that takes front and center.  I mean there is ALSO, a small word that does heavy lifting. 

We all know that Peter denied Jesus three times after his arrest.  The typical assumption is that he denied him because he was concerned what might have happened to him if he were found to be a follower of Jesus.  The odd thing, however, is that the first two questions that prompted denials were about whether Peter was ALSO one of Jesus’ disciples.

One of the details we forget or never notice is that “the other disciple” was known to the high priest and his entourage.  It seems he was even acquainted with the woman who was guarding the gate to the courtyard, because he spoke with her about letting Peter in.  He then brought Peter to the charcoal fire where slaves and police he knew were gathered to warm themselves.  So, these people—the woman at the gate, the police and slaves, Caiaphas the high priest—not only knew “the other disciple,” they knew he was a disciple of Jesus.  If they had not, they would not have asked Peter whether he was, like their friend, ALSO a disciple of Jesus.

For me, this makes Peter’s denial of Jesus even more problematic.  It doesn’t appear he was in extremis, i.e. I don’t get the sense that he feared for his life.  And contrary to the other three Gospels, none of the denials comes accompanied with an oath or a curse.  The denials in John’s Gospel feel almost… casual, and because of that, I feel more implicated, knowing that my denials of Jesus don’t come because I’m in live or die mode.  I deny Jesus most often through the casual daily habits of inattention and inaction.

John’s Gospel was written to show us who Jesus is, but it also holds a mirror up to us.  Understanding that we are very much like Denying Peter is a difficult thing to admit.  But it’s true.  Even as we admit to that truth about ourselves, however, we are held in the grace of the one who died not only for us but because of us and loves us still.